Confidence grade
An elite tool. Unfortunately, my only one.
✳ ROTISSERIE BASEBALL. WELL DONE.
A tradition
of almost.
Big dreams. Bad trades. A suspiciously thorough knowledge of next year’s prospects.
Welcome to Bizzbags, where I turn a perfectly good draft position into a valuable learning experience.
Tour the damageHope springs eternal. My starters do not.
100%
REBUILDING
REBUILDING
LAST PLACE. FIRST IN EXCUSES. ✳ TRUST THE PROCESS. QUESTION ASTI. ✳ MATHEMATICALLY ALIVE. EMOTIONALLY ELIMINATED. ✳
EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OWNERSHIP
New name. Same catastrophic judgment.
Things have gotten so bad that I’ve been forced to change my fantasy team name to:
“Kyle Tucker Chokes On Vomit”
I couldn’t improve the roster, so I made the name worse. Finally, a move entirely within my skill set.
REBRAND COMPLETE. REBUILD STILL PENDING.
THE SCOUTING REPORT
The numbers don’t lie.
I wish they would.
A completely unscientific assessment
of the Bizzbags experience.
Roster management
The scouting scale doesn’t go any lower.
“Next year” potential
The future is bright. Please don’t look at the present.
Lessons learned
I prefer to call it staying true to my philosophy.
PERMANENT COLLECTION
The Hall of Shame.
EXHIBIT 001THE DRAFT
A+in hindsight,
a typo.
a typo.
The “sleeper” pick.
Turns out he wasn’t undervalued. He was unavailable. Small distinction. Huge impact on my batting average.
SCOUTING SOURCE: A FEELING
EXHIBIT 002THE LINEUP
3 HRall on
my bench.
my bench.
A masterclass in timing.
Benched him to “play the matchups.” He played the game of his life. I played the role of cautionary tale.
POINTS AWARDED: TO MY THERAPIST
EXHIBIT 003THE TRADE
WINfor literally
the other guy.
the other guy.
The generous negotiator.
I sold high. He got higher. I bought low. We discovered a basement. Everybody learned something.
TRADE REVIEW: THANK-YOU NOTE RECEIVED
Illustrative disasters. Any resemblance to my actual decisions is probably generous.
A WORD FROM OWNERSHIP
I take full responsibility.
Except for the injuries, the weather,
and the entire month of June.
I love baseball. Baseball has asked that we keep things professional. Until then, I’ll be overthinking two-start pitchers, chasing saves, and describing every terrible trade as “a long-term play.”
— ASTI, general manager & entire problem
TODAY’S OFFICIAL EXPLANATION
“The underlying numbers say I should be less embarrassing.”